Date:	2008-06-12 16:16
Subject:	Nothing changes if nothing changes
Security:	Public
Mood:	happy

Two people walk up to a checkout counter.  Sitting there is a little slip of paper with the phrase, "Nothing changes if nothing changes" written on it.  The first person stares at the paper and thinks, "Heh.  How appropriate for me."  The second person stares at the paper and says, "Heh.  How appropriate for you."  Feh.  Stupid second person.  What do they know anyhow?

Coming soon: Villains!

Date:	2008-05-27 18:46
Subject:	What's going on.
Security:	Public
Mood:	quixotic

I had a pretty good weekend.  I crossed rivers and threatened crosswalk signals.  I scaled trees and stole from children.  I ate raw meat.  I ate boiled meat.  I drank wine. 

I drank a lot of wine. 

I drank a *lot* of wine. 

I never slept alone. 

There was a sculpture garden on Friday, a bus station on Saturday, an old fort on Sunday, and whiskey on Monday.  I introduced my newest friend to my oldest friends and no one hated each other.  I should've bought a lottery ticket.

Anyhow, that's what's going on.  It was a pretty good weekend.  It was pretty good.

Date:	2008-05-20 16:59
Subject:	The age old question is answered!
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused

Stop me if you've heard this one:

A badger walks into a bar and sits down.  Next to him is a wolverine going ape-shit all over a bag of fresh duck feet.  The badger turns to the wolverine and greets him with a hearty "Hidey-ho, friend."  The wolverine, high out of his mind from the feet and deep in a gobbling frenzy, doesn't respond.  The badger tries again, "So, what's in the bag?"  Again, no response from the wolverine.  A little put out, the badger says, "Now look here, we badgers are a fierce, ornery bunch.  It'd be best not to ignore me."  Still no response.  The badger, angry now, taps the wolverine on the shoulder and shouts, "Hey!  I'm talking to you!"  Finally the wolverine looks up and notices the badger.

So he puts down the duck feet and fucking kills him.

The end.

Wolverines rule!

Date:	2008-05-15 11:14
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative

So I'm a big fan of fortune cookie fortunes.  Always have been.  I think the best fortune I ever received was one that said, "Smile when you are ready."  Holy hell, right?  How desolate is that?  I kept it on my fridge for a long time until it was finally lost in a moving fiasco. 

Anyhow, I have a small collection of these fortunes sitting around my desk at work now.  I've accumulated many but most are pretty uninteresting (even playing the "in bed" game); there are only two that I really like:

The first is also the one I've had the longest.  Long enough that it's even somewhat faded.  It says, "There will be plenty of time to work hard; enjoy yourself!"  I keep it prominently placed with the vague intention of scaring my employers.  I doubt it works but it makes me smile every time I read it. 

The second reads, "Your fortune is as sweet as you."  This one I keep prominently placed as well for fairly similar reasons.  It's there to scare me.

Date:	2008-05-13 13:50
Subject:	Renew!
Security:	Public
Mood:	pessimistic

So I thought maybe I would give this another try.  Wish me luck.

Date:	2005-04-22 22:40
Subject:	Sugar and Spice
Security:	Public
Mood:	discontent

Pepper, pepper, pepper. 

So the thing about pepper is that it can burn your mouth.  No really, I mean it.  Shake some McCormick Crushed Red Pepper into your mouth and try it if you don't believe me.  Now chew it a little.  Feel that sensation?  That's called burning.  Not very nice, is it?  It can burn your skin too if it's hot enough.  I think I recall reading in a book called "Bet You Can" (yes, this was a very long time ago) that if you shake a little Tabasco onto your wrists, you can feel it burn. 

Oh, it can make you sneeze too.  The cartoons aren't making that up.  It's happened to me. 

Seriously. 

Stupid pepper. 

But if you take it away (the pepper that is), all the flavor goes out of your food.  Horrible, nasty, yummy, lovely pepper. 

<sigh>

I definitely need to develop a little interest in some of the other spices.

So the thing about a blog is you have to write in it. Which can be hard if you often have nothing to say. It gets worse when you're kind of all about your privacy. What's a boy to do?